The Most Honest Guide to Self-Care

So self-care is a big topic recently

It's all face masks, bubble baths, and unicorn giggles. While I love a good bubble bath as much as the next basic bitch, there is a bit more that goes into taking care of yourself than a day of pampering.

DISCLAIMER: This is a very vulnerable post for me because I struggle with self-care and to not only take the time but also feel worthy to take care of myself. This post is to empower you and tell you that YOU ARE WORTH SELF-CARE. And to give yourself permission that if your self-care routine doesn't look picture perfect than that is totally okay too. This post is to help you define what you need.

First off, why is self-care even a thing?

The best analogy I have is this:

Think of a bucket that is filled with water and has your name on it. Throughout your day to day, water is taken out of your bucket. Sometimes it is for things like doing something kind for a coworker or going out of your way for a friend. Which is nice because you are helping to fill other people's buckets.

However, if you are anything like me, water also gets taken out of your bucket when you are stressed about deadlines, get anxious about not being a good enough friend, or "doing your best" so hard until you feel like you are about to collapse. If too much water gets taken out of your bucket, without you taking the time to refill it, then that is when your mental and emotional health really starts to deteriorate.

So how do I refill my bucket through self-care?

There are two types of self-care in my experience:

Proactive self-care is when your bucket is already pretty full and you are just keeping it healthy. Like working out regularly for your general health (which is a thing you should actually do). These type of activities are typically the fun things you see on social media. But if you are in need of some inspiration, below are my favorite ways to "treat my self":

- Write a positive note of affirmation on your mirror or in your lunch bag about how you are killing it! Add some fun stickers and get creative because your worth it!

- Buy yourself a plant or some flowers. This is one of my personal favorites because there is something about fresh flowers or a super cute plants that just brightens your day. The City Market down in the River Market is my all time favorite place to buy from. Not only am I supporting local farmers and family businesses, I also get the chance to buy some fresh fruits and veggies!

- Reconnect with nature. It is easy to forget how just being outside can greatly improve a person's mood. And! It is actually scientifically proven that feeling the earth beneath your feet can improve blood flow and overall health. Google it.

- Just move! Sounds cliche but find a way to get moving whether it is with yoga, spin class, or some fun dance classes! I would suggest checking out Dance, Fit, Flow in the Crossroads. They have a ton of fun classes that can appeal to any dance level or interest.

- Take care of your skin. Sounds logical but truly there is no better feeling than a nice fresh face. It almost becomes a ritual of cleansing the days stress and going to bed or starting the day ready with a fresh and positive attitude. If you are in need of a skin makeover, go check out Skin KC for all your natural, organic, and local skin care needs!

Now the second type of self-care is not as cute.

This is reactive self-care for when your bucket is already critically low and you are already experiencing signs of emotional or mental exhaustion. When you are at this point, try some of these low energy ways to slowly start refilling your bucket:

- Everything is going to be okay. If every thought in your head is bringing you down, just know you are going to be okay. Repeat "everything is going to be okay" even if you don't quite believe it yet. Write it down so you can see it in front of you. Hold it in your hands. Take a deep breath and say it one more time.

- If the idea of seeing or talking to anyone feels like too much don't. Take a personal day at work. You are allowed those. Just be sure to let the immediate people in your life know so they don't think you disappeared off the face of the earth. Then turn off your phone because social media is not what you need right now I promise.

- Just open a window/get outside. You don't have to go on a hike or anything big. Just get outside and focus on the feeling of the sun on your face and breath some fresh air.

- Sleep. If you feel mentally, emotionally exhausted then you probably also are physically exhausted. Let yourself catch up on the sleep you need.

- Go take a shower. Honestly that feeling of letting everything wash off of you feels amazing. Just stand in a hot shower for a few minutes and try to focus on the feeling of the water hitting your skin and rolling off your body. I always feel 110% better afterwards.

None of these are solutions but they are band-aids. And on those days, that is what you need.